Many people discourage long distance relationships, saying they never work out. We all know that this type of relationship can be challenging and it requires that each person to make some adjustments. We also know that these relationships just don’t work out sometimes. However, I have some breaking news: sometimes local relationships can also be challenging and require each person to make adjustments, and sometimes they just don’t work out either. So I don’t think the question is can it work. I think the question is- do both of you want it to work? Do both of you feel that there is something between you worth holding on to? If the answer to these questions is yes, then the following tips from a relationship coach and co-founder of Loveawake dating service - Alex Wise will help you keep what you have found in each other even though you are many miles apart.
1. Be Clear on What You Expect From the Relationship
Alex says “It is important to make sure that each of you has the same goals concerning the relationship”. Are you planning on building a future together or are you just interested in keeping in touch and maintaining what you have for now. Understanding each other’s goals will help prevent hurt feelings in the future.2. Make Use of Technology
Alex explains that one thing long distant relationships have now that they didn’t have 20 years ago is the availability of so many ways to communicate. Cell phones make calling more convenient and easier. Make use of E-mail, web cams, social media, and any other technology that makes communication easier and more fun.
3. Make Yourself Available
One important thing in relationships is knowing that the other person is there just to talk to when you have a problem or just had a bad day. Try to be available as much as possible.4. Share New Experiences
While it is fun to share common experiences, it is also exciting to share unique experiences that you have had living in a different state or city. This is one of the advantages of a long distance relationship. It also helps the other person to feel more connected to you.5. Make Holidays Extra Special
One of the most difficult times for long distance relationships is when you can’t spend the holidays with that special person. Try to communicate often during this time, and maybe send several gifts separately instead of one gift.6. Plan Actual Visits
After all the e-mails, phone calls and text messages, nothing beats being there physically. You should make every effort to actually see each other when possible. Sometimes this is not possible or practical, but make an effort to do it whenever you can.7. Don’t Let Jealousy Overwhelm You
Jealousy is a natural feeling when you care about someone. If these feelings arise in you or in the other person, don’t be surprised or angered by it. You both should acknowledge these feelings and do what you can to put the other person at ease about the relationship.8. Surprise Each Other
Sending gifts on holidays or birthdays is great and it always appreciated. However when that special person in your life sends you a gift “just because” it makes it even more special. So send a “just because of” gift or even an E-card once in a while.9. Make the Most of Each Communication
In a long distance relationship every communication is valuable so don’t waste it. There may be times when you have to discuss things that may not be pleasant, but don’t let that subject dominate the conversation, always end the conversation with positive words.10. Talk to Others Who Have Long Distance Relationships
It’s a good idea to talk to people who have made long distance dating successful. They may be able to give you some ideas about how to make it work. Also, sometimes it helps just to discuss this subject with someone else who is familiar with it.While dating someone who lives close by is usually preferred, there are some benefits in long distance dating. Don’t forget about that old saying - “absence make the hear grow fonder.” Make the best of the situation and remember it doesn’t always have to be this way. Circumstances can change and may bring both of you closer together again. If you can make a long distance relationship work, it shows that the relationship is strong enough to overcome obstacles and has the potential for a good long lasting relationship.
