When you can’t manage your marriage anymore, you either try counselling or decide to end your relationship officially. In the latter option, one of the partners usually sets the process rolling. Many claims that becoming an initiator of divorce, you get the upper hand through the whole process. Yet, you must understand that you also get extra burdens and responsibilities. First, check out some disadvantages of filing for divorce and decide whether you are ready for the challenge.

1. You Reveal the Plans

Whether you are the first to file for divorce online or get to the local family law office to file the papers, you will have plenty of information to reveal. Apart from personal, marriage, and divorce-related data, you will have to complete the documents with your visions of the divorce outcomes. So that your spouse will get the idea of how you want custody, assets division, and other essential issues solutions to be. As a result, they will have more possibilities to manipulate and overbeat you.

2. You Pay More

As an initiator of divorce, you will have to empty your pockets more than your soon-to-be ex in most cases. Filing fees are usually covered by the petitioner. Plus, some states may demand additional legal payments. So you should search how much is a divorce in California, for example, and expect to waste at least several hundred more.

But if you are a low-income or your partner is a breadwinner in your family, you can request the court to order the state or your spouse to cover some of the official spendings or even pay for the entire divorce process.

3. You Are Heart-Breaker

Even if your marriage wasn’t working for a long time and you and your spouse understand it, you will be the heartbreaker if you start the divorce. You will be the one to offend your partner and cause emotional trauma to them.

The only thing you can do to ease the tension and negative impact is to discuss and explain the need for divorce. It is even better to cooperate with a family counsellor to deliver the news correctly and dwell on your and your spouse’s feelings about it accordingly.

4. You Ruin the Family

One more point to add to the disadvantages of filing for divorce first is the image of the person who ruined the family that will be assigned to you. Many friends, relatives, neighbours, and even your children won’t have the desire and/or possibility to sort out your family issues and the real reasons behind your marriage termination. They will just know that you were the one to push your marriage to the end and treat you accordingly.

But if you are sure you have made the right choice, you should ignore any prejudices and rumours; they will die out soon.

5. You May Kill the Marriage

If you opt for divorce without giving your marriage another chance, you will be the one to kill your relationships, too. You would never know how your life may have turned out unless you visit a family counsellor with your partner and try fixing your marriage first. If couple therapy changes nothing, you can process marriage termination without remorse.

6. You Waste More Time on Divorce

Weeks or months of dwelling on the marriage termination is what happens when you file for divorce first. While your partner suspects nothing and keeps on living according to the regular schedule, you poison your life for a long time ahead with thinking and planning your divorce. But this is the price for you to be more prepared physically and mentally for your marriage to end.

7. You May Rush the Events

Being eager to become a petitioner but not a respondent, you may take the rushed decisions and spoil the outcomes involuntary. So, before choosing the best suitable path to terminating your marriage, it is better to weigh your decisions properly and consult with relevant professionals first.

8. You Are to Set the Tone

Another significant role automatically assigned to you as the divorce initiator is setting the tone of the divorce process. Depending on how you announce your divorce intentions and address the issue in general, you can start divorce either amicably or in a less friendly mode. Mind that the first outcome benefits you and your spouse, so care to guarantee its implementation.

9. You Hold More Responsibilities

When deciding who should file for divorce first, consider that the marriage termination initiator will also carry more responsibilities. You will be the first to complete all the papers, decide on the temporary orders, and speak out in court. Yet, it depends on you only whether you use extra responsibilities as great opportunities or treat them as additional burdens.

10 You Are More Stressed

With the need to make life-changing choices, the pressure from the surroundings, extra responsibilities, and a list of arrangements to handle, you will be significantly stressed about starting the divorce. So, mind all the pros and cons of filing for divorce first and make the right choice to feel comfortable and happy about your marriage termination process and its outcomes.