Even in 2020, after many years of becoming one of society’s most popular leisure activities, there can be a stigma around online dating. People who haven’t tried it will state the reason they haven’t done so is because it’s for losers, a final resort for singles unable to connect in any other way. To those who have taken the plunge and downloaded apps or signed up to
online chat rooms, the reality is vastly different to the misconceptions. If you are keen to experience a healthy Internet relationship, here are four top tips.
Aim to be transparent with your dating profile
When it comes to creating that first impression of yourself, don’t be tempted to stretch the truth a little just because you’re online and not in direct contact. Always upload a clear and present image for your profile, one that shows you smiling and welcoming. Certainly not one from 10 years ago, just because you assume you look more youthful and attractive. What happens when you’re getting on well with someone and they suggest a videochat? Or when the time comes to arrange an offline date? They’d be in for a rude awakening! As for the description, keep it on point. Nobody wants to be faced with War and Peace when browsing through the personals. Honesty and directness are the ideal foundations for a healthy relationship.
Learn there’s a time and a place for total honesty
Having said that it is always better to be aboveboard with your details, this should only apply to familiar aspects of your personality – your likes and dislikes, your dating aspirations, and so on. Deeper issues don’t have to be shared at the outset. Everyone has a serious side, but when you’re in the initial stages of clicking with somebody on a website, keep your messages upbeat and flirtateous. Candid admissions of a spell in rehab, or toxic previous relationships, or having been signed off work with mental health issues, are all totally valid, and are an important part of your character. These would be better broached as your bond is growing, and you feel confident enough to open up to each other.
Make sure the person you are chatting to is genuine
One of the problems with connecting with someone who is only presented as a username, a profile jpeg and a few paragraphs of text is that you have no real way of knowing them. Not at the outset, at least. It can be tremendous fun peeling back the layers to find out more about a prospective partner, discovering the things you have in common. But the downside of Internet dating is that there are unscrupulous individuals out there who have no real intention of commiting to a relationship. To give yourself the best chance of finding someone compatible, exerciser a degree of caution. Does anything about the way this site user is behaving ring alarm bells? Do they sometimes address you with the wrong name, as if they’ve been chatting with someone else recently? Or do they ask too many irrelevant questions, about your finances, your computer passwords?
Have a longer-term goal from the outset.
You’ll have a better chance of fulfilling your ambition to have a healthy online relationship if you have clear ambitions. Are you seeking fun or something longer-term and more fufilling? Get into the mindset that there might be disappointments along the way. This will provide focus when you are searching through the profiles of potential partners, allowing you to rule out the incompatible ones and avoid unecessary timewasting.
