Perfect Mate

Looking for that perfect someone can be a daunting task. Where do you look? How do you know when you find them? And what exactly are you supposed to be looking for?

Take a step back and relax.

Finding a mate will be a breeze if you look at the bigger picture first. Here are six steps to finding your soulmate. (And psst… Four have nothing to do with them and everything to do with you!)

1. Let go of the past.

Who you dated before, how it ended, all the stories you have told yourself about what you deserve… drop them. It’s time to move forward with a clean slate. Yes, it’s good to learn from past mistakes and past wins. But when we hold on too tightly to what was, we don’t have room to grab onto what will be.

2. Know who you are.

When we’re too fixated on finding another person, we sometimes lose sight of our own identity. In order to be happy in a relationship, you’ll need to be happy with yourself. So focus on you first. Do you like how you spend your time? Do you have hobbies and passions? Think about how you’d like to grow and improve yourself and take some action.

3. Know what you want out of life.

Now let’s look at the future. What are your goals, dreams, and aspirations? Getting a sense of what you desire life to look like a little down the line gives you clarity when you get out there and start talking to another person about their goals.

4. Know what you want out of a partner.

Does like attract like, as the Law of Attraction says? Or do opposites attract, as they do with magnets? It depends on who you ask. We are generally attracted to people with the same interests. But if you were to date your mirror image, you’d also be getting all the things you dislike about yourself. 

So think about what common interests are important to you. For example, whether or not you want kids, your religion or spiritual preferences, or perhaps your social style. Then think about what your weaknesses are. Chances are, you’ll be happier with a partner who is your opposite in that respect. For instance, if you are shy, a good mate would be outgoing. If you are scatterbrained, a good mate would be organized.

5. Don’t wait to be happy.

Expecting your perfect mate to come into the picture and change you from unhappy to happy is impractical. Your circumstances don’t have to dictate the way you perceive life. Choose happiness now, with or without a mate, and you’re way more likely to truly be happy when that mate comes along.

6. Go where the possibility is.

Your perfect mate isn’t going to walk into your living room as you sit binge-watching the latest TV drama. And you don’t have to be a mathematician to know that you’ll increase your odds of finding a match by going to a place where you know people are available and also looking for their own match. Find some “singles events London” and get out there.

Follow these six steps and you’ll be well on your way to finding your perfect match.