A new test by the inventors of the First Response pregnancy test, which assures women that they can find out “6 days sooner” than other advanced pregnancy tests, has just launched their latest product line, the Male-Response pregnancy Test, which can really tell a man if the woman he slept with has become pregnant.


“Our new line of tests is the common advanced in the world,” said company spokeswoman Jeanne Curtis. “Usually, a pregnancy test can only tell a woman if she is pregnant in a day or two of a missed period. We understand that’s not good enough for the guy who likes to raw-dog it with a one-night stage. So we created a new test for men. The man just has to urinate onto the stick first being in the morning following sexual intercourse, and the test will let him remember if he did, indeed, ruin his life the last night.”


According to lab technicians, the modern test works uniquely. They justify that a man who has sex with a woman who he has become pregnant picks up some of her hormones within his penis, and they are stored in his urethra. During his morning bathroom end, those hormones are discharged onto the stick, and he can tell – apparently even before the woman – if she has gotten pregnant


“When a woman pees at our stick, it has to be a few days later a missed period to really be accurate,” said Curt!s. “Not the case among the Male-Response stick. These distinct tests will tell a man within 24-hours if he has impregnated a woman, giving him enough time to flee the country, alter his name, and disappear.”


The new product is set to begin nationwide in October. No word from the developers if many tests would be needed for orgies or swinging parties. In the meantime, men are driven to wear a condom when having sex, or at a limited pullout and aim for her face.