My brother is getting married and has told my son (who’s 20) he needs to shave his beard and cut his hair. Neither of my sons or our immediate family are in the wedding party. We are not close with my brother either. We’ll probably only be in a few family photos. Brother wouldn’t let this go, kept telling/demanding we must make him shave.  

Now my other son (17) and husband have grown out their beards to support oldest son and upset at being told how they must look to attend. Brother doesn’t understand how his demand is wrong, not any different I think than if he were to tell me to color my hair to cover my greys or ask me to loose weight (he has not, yet!)  Should my boys shave just for the uncles wedding? What are your thoughts?