QUESTION: I am 30 years old, and I have been dating a guy for six years. I recently bought a house and he moved in with me.
I do everything. He is unemployed. He does not help around the house, instead he just allows his friends to come drink and party. What should I do because I love him?
BOITUMELO replies: Taking on the role of financier to your boyfriend changed dynamics of your relationship from boyfriend-girlfriend to mother-son relationship. Now you work, he plays! There is a difference in helping him and taking care of his financial needs.
It's easy to feel obligated to help because you care about him, but always remind yourself you are his girlfriend not his mother. Get your respect back, tell him to move out!
MOM replies: Darling, you are not only emasculating that man, but you are also babying him. Six years is a long time to be your boyfriend's mother. There is no relationship there. Loving him is not a point.
How do you even love an unemployed man who is squatting with you in your house and is making no financial contribution, in 2016?
QUESTION: I am 28 years old and have two children from different men. I don't want children from different men anymore. I chose to be with the father of my second child, but sometimes he doesn't look interested in us. He is the father of my child, am I wrong?
BOITUMELO replies: You're settling for less because of fear. You don't have to be with him for him to continue being a father, but you choose to hang on to a title that he seems not interested in.
Now you'll be in a relationship with the title because he is already slipping away. The great thing is you have the power to make sure you don't have anymore children you don't want. Have you heard of birth control?
MOM replies: You seem more concerned about not bearing children from different men than having a companion. I think what you should aim for is a loving, fulfilling and satisfying relationship.
Work on getting that right. Then marry your companion. By so doing, you will have children with your husband and not with different men.
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