Sir Mixalot had tons to say about his passion for big butts, but what about dimpled ones?
When it comes to sex appeal, we've long allowed men to set the standard of what's hot and what's not.
Sometimes (high heels, lace underwear) they are right. Sometimes (Lucite high heels, DayGlo thongs) they are wrong. Very, very wrong.
It was Sir Mix A Lot who popularized the big butt in the 1990s, making women the globe over proud of the buns they brandished which were sure to gain the attention of their desired gentleman and his anaconda.
But Sir Mix A Lot was far from being the first dude to be like "this particular trait? That's what's up, sex wise, guys."
In fact it was the 16th century Renaissance master Michelangelo who can be first quoted as saying "Daaaayum girl back that up!"
Only he wasn't talking about her butt specifically, but rather, the back dimples that sit just above the junk in her trunk.
These dimples, two concave marks located directly above the buttocks, aren't found on everyone. They are a matter of genetics, just like having a cute chin dimple, or being born with a tail.
Michelangelo christened them dimples of Venus, when he spotted them on women. Being pretty equal opportunity when it come to hot bods (we've all seen David) Michelangelo called them dimples of Apollo when he spotted them on a fine piece of Italian male behind.
But what is it exactly about the butt dimples that we now equate them with total sex appeal? For one thing, dimples are actually a sign of excellent circulation. If you've got dimples, it's easier for you to orgasm. Shirley Temple you MINX.
Owners of dimples of Venus are thought to be great seducers. There is literally no science to back this up, but I can say that I would not kick a dude with dimples of Apollo out of bed for eating oyster crackers, and that's kind of like science, so there you go.
Some people born without the dimples go to extremes to get this look, undergoing cosmetic surgery to make their top bottoms seem more sexy. Weight loss can make the dimples visible on people who might have thought they were born dimple free. But for Pete's sake don't lose weight to see if you get butt dimples. That feels foolhardy to me.
That said, these could be the bitter ravings of a woman with no butt dimples of which to speak.
