SO I read about some elderly man who clearly has no clue how to be unfaithful. He was caught because he went to see his mistress and his wife reported him missing to all and sundry.
The police, the media and comedy shows were amused as he claimed amnesia – to avoid his wife’s wrath.
Really guys, you’re breadwinners, dads, conquerors, kings and CEOs. How do you get caught cheating in 2016?
The art of cheating should be easy for men as it’s universal knowledge that men have been cheating since Noah’s time. They’ve been at it forever, so how does one have to resort to lying about amnesia when it’s easy to cheat and not get caught?
You could have an office affair no one knows about, provided you shut your mouth.
You could date the lady at the KFC counter, and be guaranteed fresh chicken on your way home.
Besides being anonymous on the internet, there are many ways men can cheat without disrupting the neighbourhood.
Use fictitious names on your contact list and code names to ensure you don’t humiliate your better half.
The aim is to be unfaithful, but respectful, as no one has the energy to be traumatised.
You men need to learn from women: when last did you hear of a woman claiming amnesia? Never.
You never hear about women’s infidelity, because they keep it to themselves.
Unlike men, women don’t sleep with men to brag. Women are deeper than that.
My friend married a man while pregnant with another man’s child. Suspicious, hubby demanded a paternity test which confirmed he was indeed the father of the baby on paper. In reality he’s fathered no one but his wife has friends – some who work in laboratories and the medical profession.
Infidelity is not for excited little boys who are hoping for a divorce, but rather for men who have no intention of leaving their home or wife or destabilise the postal system by leaving the neighbourhood.
Infidelity is not about disrespecting your partner or getting excited about changing your lifestyle for your new mistress. It’s about discretion and respect for the alternative life you have which enables you to have your cake and eat it – repeatedly!
A cheating man respects his family, so ensure you never introduce your weave and bag-loving mistress to anyone.