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It was on the 28th of June Mgqibelo ezinzulwini, the day I lost my baby boy.
I met his father in tertiary sasifunda UWC but ephambili kum, ndithe xa ndisenza 2nd year wave swphangela yena. His first job, ndazityhala Nam ke I graduated, unfortunately he had to move to Joburg for a better job, we were so close not even a distance was a threat all I thought of was wenzela future yakhe I will join him later, that was our agreement.

I spoke with my Mom wkudala wandixhasa and trusted me with my decisions wathi NO I can't stay with him of ai wanna go to that province its fine , rather uzawundizama nge rentand everything until Im sorted, savunelana.

Got in Joburg, he was waiting for me we were so happy I stayed for a week until the body corporate sorted the flat issue then I moved.

I will cut the story short, December my Mom passed away ,in a car accident. fortunately sendiwufumenw Msebenzi, wandikhapha sahamba songcwaba uMama, by then things were not really cool but for some reason during that period sasizibeke emva zonke izinto, sijongene ne situation, ekhaya ke siababini Im the older one ibe ngumfana emva kwam he is working. Ubom bethu ke oko yabasithi no mama, we were never close with other families besisiya nje ngeloxesha.saziqhelisa ke ukuba omnye oyame ngomnye.ngeloxesha ndikhulelwe ke emva komngcwabo uMalume wasa susu ko.

Site xa sibuya wahlala phantsi wacela uxolo ngezojolo zakhe and wanted to make things right, hay ke kwayolotyolwa tyhini kwamnandi, I was grieving at the same time ndimana ndisith mama noko uyawulala obuhlayo,
Kwaphela contract kum I was shocked it was not renewed kwaqala kwanzima, he suggested that we move in together, kuba ke ekugqibeleni he paid lobola for me, hay ke sahlala zaqala izimanga zavela ndilala ndodwa umntu engabuyi iintsuku ndilila kubenzima nale yokutya ndilambe ndimithi, ndisitya umhlaba lo uthengiswayo, ndiqhingwe kubenzima constipation indibambile ndahlala ndanyamezela my brother was a student ke ,decided to study again ehlala esikolweni back at home ebendizama ke shame athenge airtime engayazi ukuba ndicinga ukutya, zalndelelana iintsuku umntu akabuyi, ndabe ndifake 7 days notice kwimalana bendinayo, kuba ke bekungekudalanga ndisebenza, believe it I was pregnant ndiphila Ngomhlaba 5 days yaphela kwale kwele 6 usuku ndazincama ndocela ukutya kwezibye guys next door hay bandinika ke ndatya ndabeka yaphuma Mali, mind you akhi mbane kumnyama fone cinyiwe oko.

Yaphuma Mali yam ndathenga ticket ndagoduka. Ndahlala ekhaya, he did not call, things were tougher mali zikamama zingekaphumi, ndahlala ekhya ndigula stress he did not bother to call and ask ndiphi.
3 weeks later he came and asked for forgiveness , ndasisibhanxa ndamxolela wacela sambe ndathi ndisafuna uhlala ekhaya, waveza into ye pregnancy,"I can't be alone almost due you need me by your side please lets think of the kids"

Ndala wahamba ke ezawuqala new job Limpopo, after a month ndalandela sendizawubeleka ke kowabo bathi mandiye khona wathi sevumile ndadibana naye sele edikwe nayinto edibene nam ne call nabantu bakowabo, hay ndathula ke, wajola umntu phambi kwam ndagula sis stress zaphela iinwele ndacheba inkqayi, ndihlala ndodwa kwi Province endingayaziyo, ndithukwe ngesi Pedi, yintombi sendimana ngowuqikelela uthi ngoku, bahleli bobabini "futhi ayingobantwana bam ago first thing DNA"uyavakala ngasemva.

ndagula ubusuku bakhona ndancame ndafowunela Aunty, she is the lady wayencedisa ekhaya, ndamxelela situation, wacela ndilhwele ndiye ezilalini kuye after birth kuba besesiskhulu susu, and naye engazukwazi ukuya khona egulelwa ngumamakhe.

I started bleeding, Called the ambulance, ayifiki, ndabangamzama lomfana akayicholi sent SMSz akaphenduli, ndasothula isikhalo kweza ubhuti wqkwundlu yase next door, sekunzima I struggled, ndavula mnyango wandileqisa esibhedele.

They had to to C section, ndaphaphama ke my babies were so strong and health but so was too weak, I was blessed with a girl and a boy but had to stay a little longer there were complications kum.
Zange avele tu ndasendincedwa ngubhuti lo bendizisile , bephethe izinyo zomntwan ne nto zam zintsha bendithengele, but bezovalelisa besiya Joburg.

I was discharged, ndahamba ke kunzima ukuhamba ndabhatala taxi, yondibeka xa ndifika umntu ufake stick emnyango akavuli, haybo ndihamba nabantwana, kunomoya ngapha ndinabile phantai zintlungu, cwaka ndalila ndayeka unkqonkqoza kumnyama ndixakwe nakukuncancisa bafuna uhoywa wavula it was 8:25 PM, kanti ulele nentombi, the pain was too much to even say a word, ndavele ndalila ndacela athate abantwana, wabathatha ndacela andiphakamise, ndakhasa ndaphakama umntu uqumbile.
Yavela intombi nge gown yanzima into kuthwa mandihambe wavuma mfana wathi hamba ndabiza ndya phi ebusuku wacela ndihambe ndiyamxabanisa.

That night kwabamnyama kum ndangakholelwa nguye lo undenza olohlobo, ndacela ulala ndivuke ndihambe, ndalala ndavuka I called Aunty wathi bazandikhawulela, xa ndisehla. Ndathatha mthwalo nento bendizithengele mntwana ndahlohla, ndaqesha imoto from Limpopo to EC, nge R3 000, ndayifumana komnye utata wasesibhedlele wayendifunele la Taxi the day I was discharged.
Ndakhwela ke abantu abaphumi bedroom, ndahamba sithe xa sifika Mtata sishekelwe nje 20 km waxhuzula mntwanam waxhuzula waxhuzula ndaxakana nento wamisa lotata sathandaza andilili ngapha ndicela uThixo andincede, wayeka wakhala saxhathisa he drove saleqa esibhedlele Aunty sele engaphambili inguye osinika directions, all I remember is ndathi xa ndisehla emotweni ndimbeke esifubeni waxhuzula kanye wayeka kanti kukuphela kwakhe, ndingayazi uyaphela, ndisuke ndifune ukufa ndakuyicinga lamini, wathathwa swphelile I dont remembers konke but all I know when I woke up the confirmed that my boy is no more.

I was under Psychiatric supervision, for 6 Months, kwangcono emva koko, but some days kubanzima, Ndithe xa ndiphuma his family some of abazalana nam babe bekhona abantu bakowabo bezocela uxolo behamba naye, ndabacela ndathi bangangeni naye ndingambulala nyhani wayehleli phandle emotweni, zange ndimbone, ndisazama ukuqhuneka with a psychologist but its not easy but ndiyamkhulisa umntwanam ndisava kabuhlungu nanamhlanje, Im so bitter, I pray everyday for inner piece, but kunzima he wanna come and see the child and I feel like if I could let him in here it would be agreat opportunityto kill him I hate him ndimzonda kakhulu please save me.

The fiance also posted 


Molo Admin
I saw the post below , iyalumeza kabuhlungu with no doubt isuka kumama wabantwana bam my wife.
She is and will always be I love that woman, I’m not going to justify my actions but all I can say I was wrong I was stupid I took advantage of your love for me.
Landlu ndandihlala kuyo Limpopo yayi ngeyoyam it was for the lady I was with, sasivumelene ukuba ndizawuhlala ithutyana de emsebenzini bandilungiselele akakholwa xa ebona umntu endinaye kuba ke sasibisa sagabadela
.
Naleyo ke it does not make it right, I could not open the door kuba ndandingafuni ubone what was happening, ingekuba ndandikulahlela phandle nabantwana bam.
I thought I was in love with the other woman kanti amehlo agcwele inkungu.when things worked out for me, I got excited ndalibala ndisuka phi nabani who stood by me when I had nothing.
Akho nenye endiyiphikayo kwizinto ozibalileyo, zindenzela uvalo kuba ubuzaza bazo zange ndibuqwalasele.
I think sometimes kukuthi uyifumene into oyifunayo ujike ungayazi how to handle it ndabaligwala, what happened between us destroyed me kakhulu my life will never be the same, umama ondizalayo zange aphinde aphile wakuva izenzo zam.
Madlamini ndincede Zizikazi all I am asking from you lithuba ndithethe nawe ndiziphalaze indlela endiziva ngayo,ndicela uxolo I blame myself for the loss of our child, soze ndizilibale igazi lixhaphe kum kodwa ndicela into enye sihlale phantsi sithethe even if it means kubenabantu abadala, to make you feel comfortable.
Admin please ndifuna aphole entliziyweni angade acinge ngondibulala zange wabulala nempukane uthethiswa linxeba ndiyayazi lonto. Andilali ebusuku ndakuyicinga lemeko ndathi ndombona mhla sasiye kowabo engafuni nondiqonda pain emehlweni yakhe yandilimaza isikhalo sakhe sisankenteza ezindlebeni zam.